Many of you have expressed concern over these recent posts. I should explain that I have been writing them as a way of being open and honest with all of you. It has not been my intention to solicit sympathy or to discourage anyone from helping the children. I just wanted people to know that my life in Malawi is not just about the orphans. I didn’t go there and experience the sheer joy of giving. I started this orphan care as a way of bringing health and education to children but also as a way of giving myself a sense of fulfillment and joy. I want everyone to know that this project has been difficult for me personally. It has been a struggle and a learning experience. I will finish the purging here with one last post. I will try to leave you with a sense of hope.

There are many personal issues which I am trying to work through in terms of this project. I am dealing with a man who is basically good but has some issues with self-esteem and trust. I have ideas in my mind about how to make the orphan care work. I will continue to do some soul searching. I will find a way to continue to help the children of Malawi. It may look much different than it does this year. It may move to a different location in Malawi. It will likely mean I will take a financial loss but I have to consider my own personal safety and well-being as well as the health and welfare of the kids.

I want you all to know that I am very sorry for using poor judgment. I should have moved more slowly. I should have been more careful and less trusting. I want you all to know that I have done my best. I will continue to do my best. I will continue to be as honest with you as I can be. I hope you will see me as a person with flaws but who is trying her best.

Thank you for reading.

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