August 4, 2008 - A Trip To The Doctor

A few days ago we ate dried fish for dinner. It tasted quite good. That night when I went to sleep I felt a strange feeling in my chest. It felt as if some of the fish had not been digested. It hurt especially when I was lying on my back. I assumed the discomfort would pass. In the morning I found the feeling was still there and that when I swallowed food it caused me a lot of pain. The pain actually went from my chest to my neck and into my ear. I’ve never experienced indigestion or heartburn so I don’t know if this is what was happening. Today the feeling is still there. I find that I must drink a lot of water with every thing I eat. If I don’t, I feel as if I am swallowing pebbles.

I decided to get some antacid or some sort of stomach medicine. In order to do this I had to visit a private health clinic. The clinic was very clean and the people were very friendly. When I stepped into the office I saw the name plate indicating the name “Confidence.” This made me laugh but I later discovered the man treating me was only filling in for “Confidence.” My caregiver’s name was Vincent. He gave me antibiotics and told me that perhaps the dust had caused some kind of infection. I don’t believe this to be the cause of the pain. I think it is a muscle problem. If the pain is still there upon my return home I’ll go to a doctor and have it checked. I’m sure a Canadian doctor will also just prescribe some medicine and not determine the cause.

On my way out of the clinic I decided to use the toilet. I assumed it would be clean because the rest of the place was clean. I was right. It was very clean. Unfortunately, there was no toilet paper or soap. I wonder if they think ithis is promoting good health.

It was definitely an experience. The medicine along with colnsultation cost me about $#. I guess it was worth it!

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August 3, 2008 - A Boring Day

Today we were supposed to go to the Day Care to build a thatch roof on the kitchen. The kitchen is quite a small building only about 60 square feet. I was looking forward to being involved in the building. So far I have felt a lot of frustration at being only involved in giving money. Ultimately decisions have been mine to make as well but they are based on information provided to me by Mabvuto. Sine he knows best the cost and the methods involved I generally agree with him. So, today I was looking forward to a hands on involvement. Unfortunately, we are not as organized as we should be. We forgot to remind our cook Kelita to bring us her trees. The grass had not yet been delivered. We had trouble finding nails for sale. We did buy plastic garbage bag to put under the grass and binding to secure the trees to the building. I don’t know when we’ll actually build it.

I’m getting a bit nervous because time is drawing to an end here. We still have to pay to have the toilet constructed. I’ve yet to teach the children to paint because a nursery school shares our space and I don’t want them to use our supplies. I have yet to visit the homes of the children. This week we are supposed to travel to the north which will mean we’ll be gone from Tuesday until Saturday. That leaves only 2 weeks for me to teach them to paint and visit their homes. I doubt I’ll be able to do as much as I’d hoped.

I feel like I’m not being successful here in Malawi. I don’t seem to be adapting very well to the conditions. I don’t feel like I’m making much of a connection with the children. I wonder if I should just send money next year instead of coming. My money is of more use than I am in Malawi.

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August 1, 2008 - The BALL!!

On Tuesday I took a ball to the children as they’d been asking repeatedly for me to bring one. The ball cost me K1500, about $12 and is not a great ball. Next year I will remember to bring deflated soccer balls as they are very expensive here. The children, normally reserved when I am nearby began to play with the ball immediately. They started by playing indoors and then moved their game outside. The boys who generally just watch the girls, joined in almost immediately. The cheering and laughter were so great to hear. I felt very happy to have given them such a gift.

Tomorrow, we are attempting to build a grass thatch roof for the kitchen. Mabvuto’s friend laughed when we told him of our plans. I know I’ve never built a roof but Mabvuto says he has. I guess it will be an experiment.

That’s all for today.

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July 26, 2008 - Pay Day

Yesterday we delivered the salaries to the cooks. They each got K2250 ($18 USD) for three weeks work. Next month they will get K3000 because they will work for the whole month. After receiving and counting their salaries, the ladies told Mabvuto to tell me that they are very grateful to me. They said they were afraid I’d not give them their salaries because I had reminded them several times throughout the month to prepare less food for the children. They thought I was not pleased with their work and wouldn’t pay them. I was shocked to hear that they thought I wouldn’t pay them. I had worried that my advice to cook less would be taken as scolding. Of course I’d never intended not to pay them. They’re doing their jobs. They are doing their jobs quite well actually.

Maggie greeted me yesterday with a very jovial,“Hello! How are you?” It was great. She is full of spunk. I think I will like her a lot. She appears to be the one who tells the others what to do which is strange since she is the youngest. The kids all seem to listen to her too.

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July 22, 2008 - “Madam, one of your sons passed his exams.”

Yesterday the cooks came to pick up the maize for the week. While we waited for Mabvuto to return from work Kelita told me, “Madam, one of your sons passed his exams.” At first I thought she was asking me a question so I told her I have no sons. She said “No, at the Day Care one of the boys and six of the girls passed their exams.” I was pleased that they passed. I was honoured and flattered that the children were referred to as mine. Of course they are not mine but It is interesting for me to see how much the Malawians value my contribution to their children.

At the Day Care we met the children and found that they all did reasonably well except those two who didn’t pass. Their excuses were that they did not prepare well enough. It is nice to see students taking responsibility for their actions. If they don’t pass the next exams they will not be promoted.

We are leaving now to deliver food and see the children.

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July 18, 2008 - A Vacation in Malawi

I am happily writing this from my “home” away from home in Lilongwe, Malawi. I am now at Heuglin’s Lodge, the place I called home for 3 glorious weeks last summer. Because I am now paying my own way, I can only afford to stay here for 2 nights. I am enjoying every minute of my time here. This morning I had a HOT shower that came from water ABOVE my head. I had an omlette with CHEESE. I had coffee because I was not afraid of having to go pee. I have a TV and a fridge in my room here. In Ntcheu where I am “putting up” I have no TV or fridge.

Last night I was informed that I need to pay K5000 to extend my stay here beyond 30 days. I was so furious! That is $35 I could have really u sed elsewhere. Fortunately I was able to obtain a ride into the city to update the stamp and am now permitted to remain in Malawi.

Yesterday I went to the airport, the logical place one would go if she wanted to change her flight. After paying K 3.5 to travel to the airport, I was told that the airport is not the place for such activities. I needed to go into the city to the KLM office. At the KLM office I was at first turned away because the employees were eating their lunch and told me they couldn’t focus properly with “hot heads” from hunger. I told them I’d wait the 25 minutes until 1:30 when their lunch was finished. They told me they’d likely be making a lot o f noise and I’d be disturbed. I reassured them that their noise would not disturb me at which point they decided to check my flights. After all of that, all flights before my departure date are booked. As it stands now I am still returning to TO on August 28 late in the evening.

This is the final chapter of the story which began in Amsterdam three weeks ago. The fare rules on my ticket stated that I could make one change free of charge on my return ticket after I departed Canada. I had many hours to spare in Amsterdam so I decided it was sensible to make the change at that time. Unfortunately I had only my itinerary and not my e-ticket. The KLM reps couldn’t find my fare rules on their computer and would not change my ticket. I called my travel agent who told me I should get her a fax # and she’d fax the e-ticket. She didn’t seem to realize that fax machines are not abundant, not to mention not reliable, here in Malawi.

Upon my arrival in Malawi I began my search for a fax machine. Finally I found one. I called the travel agent and gave her the fax number with little hope of the fax actually arriving in Malawi. This was on a Thursday. On Friday I went to the office which houses the fax machine only to be told no fax had arrived. Knowing I had only 4 business days until my trip into the city (the airport) I began to feel anxious. I went to the telephone bureau where I was allowed to check email in the vain hopes of finding the e-ticket. Of course none had been emailed. After purchasing a $3.00 phone card I called the agent and told her the fax had not come. I asked if she’d please email it. She said she’d try but was not sure if it was still in the computer.

On Monday I returned to the fax machine where I found the fax – which had arrived on Thursday but the people working in the office didn’t know about it. I now had the coveted e-ticket which also had safely arrived via email. Too bad, the flights are booked full!

Last night I met 4 teachers who are here for the same purpose I was here last year. I had been in communication with one of them for several months. She gave to me a generous donation that her brother and his family had asked her to give to my orphans. Another woman gave me a ton of clothing for the children. I was very touched by their faith in my project.

Every Malawian I meet and tell my story to says thank you to me. It seems as if I am doing something they think is very important. It makes me feel good.

Money for start up has gone quickly. I am now wondering if the K1000 for a table and chairs is too luxurious and should have been saved for next year. I have paid K7200 ($60) for maintenance of the building, plus K8800 for reconnection of the water. I still have to pay to put a roof on the kitchen. A thatched roof will cost about $1000 ($75) where as a tin one will cost 7 times more. For now, I’m opting for grass. Maybe a goal for next year can be a tin roof.

The cooks seem to be enjoying their jobs. I am concerned that they are cooking too much. I’ve decided they should come to Mabvuto’s house on a weekly basis to collect maize, beans and oil. They need to see how much I expect them to use in a week. At the rate they are going I will run out of food by January.

The children have warmed up to me. They sang and danced for me the other day. One of them watches me all the time and speaks to me when I speak to her. She seems rather bold. She has AIDS at the age of 9. I was told her parents died of TB which is obviously untrue. Only one caregiver of the 8 I spoke to told me the child had been orphaned due to AIDS. The rest told me stories of hiccups, headaches, malaria, TB and unknown causes. I suspect AIDS is the case for at least 6 of the children. To my knowledge only Maggie has AIDS herself. She gets ARVs for free from the local hospital.

Next week I plan to visit their homes. I think it will be shocking to see how they live.

Back to my vacation …

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July 15, 2008 - Sorting Things Out

Yesterday we visited the D.C. We were not planning to go but decided we should. Upon our arrival we found a nursery school using our building. The building was a mess with a lot of dirt on the floor. The cooks had been told that the nursery school was to use the large room while we were permitted use of the smaller room. This made me angry since I’d been led to believe that the whole building was to be used for the orphans. I asked if I was only to occupy 1/3 of the space why was I to pay such a large amount for restoration of the building. I was told that the parents of the nursery school children had paid a small fee already for upkeep of the building. After some discussion it was decided that the nursery school children would find another spot to do their work. I feel somewhat bad about this as the place is meant to be used by the community. My concern though is that the place was left in quite a mess. I am also not sure if I can trust the nursery school workers to leave our food alone. Will they take what is not theirs?

I was also surprised by the amount of oil and beans the cooks are using. We brought them oil which we thought would last for 2 months and already, after less than one week, the oil is almost ½ done. I spoke to them about using less and explained that the food is meant to last for a long time. I poured one week’s supply of oil into my small water bottle and left that with them for use for the rest of the week.

Today we returned. I was pleased to see they had used less oil and beans.

I was able to have a bit of conversation with some of the children. I was standing just outside and I heard them singing and playing. When I went in, they continued to sing and play. In the past, they would have stopped upon my arrival. This time I was pleased to see that they continued. I recorded them with the video camera and showed them. They loved that. Yesterday I gave them some bubbles. They laughed and played for a long time. Today I saw that they have more bubbles. I’m not sure how they got more but they weren’t shy about showing me how good they now are at blowing them.

I need to learn to say “Do you like” because I found our conversations limited today. I guessed which grade they were in and told them that I teach “standard” 1. They laughed with me and tried their best to talk to me.

The cooks too came to talk to me. They told me I looked sad. They showed concern. I found that very touching.

The Chairperson of the CBO (Community Based Organization) agreed that I should pay for reconnection of water and K7200 in lieu of rent. The money was to pay for finishing touches on the building such as glass and filling in of holes. I also agreed to pay for finishing construction of the kitchen which means putting on a roof. Today the boy who is building the kitchen and toilet came and told me that he had been told I’d pay for all of his work. This was far more than I had agreed to pay. I don’t know what is happening in terms of who is to pay for construction of toilets but I was never told that all the cost would fall to me. One thing I know for sure is that I need to install a door with a lock in the building so that our things are secure while the nursery children are there.

I bought 1.5kg of beef today for K750 which is about $5.00. Tomorrow’s lunch of vegetables, rice and beef for 9 children will cost about K1100 which is about $8.50. Eggs and bread for Friday’s breakfast will cost about K620 or about $4.50.

Start up costs are greater than I’d anticipated but the food costs seem to be as expected. Of course I didn’t factor in the need for salt and sugar and such high quantities.

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July 13, 20008 - Bathing in a Bucket

On Friday we visited to Day Care again. We arrived at about 1 pm, well after the children should have been gone home but all of them were still there. The two boys were outside playing football while the girlsl were inside getting help with their homework. I was so happy to see that the cooks were totally engaged in helping the girls with their homework. They barely took notice of us.

The children were still shy of me. They moved off the mat as soon as I came in but when I took their “snaps” they rushed over to see them on the camera. Mabvuto took a picture of this which I think I would like to have.

As I write this, I am in Mabvuto’s house and there is a chicken wandering near my feet. How odd it is that I am now getting used to chickens inside. I will be sleeping here tonight and bathing in a bucket tomorrow morning.

At the Day Care one girl came late. She had been at the hospital receiving her ARVs for AIDS. As it turns out her parents died of AIDS and not TB as her grandmother had previously told me. I suspected that many of the caregivers were not honest with me about how the children became orphaned.

Last night I spoke with a girl who has ow lived in Malawi for 3 years. She is from Pennsylvania and came here with a university prof to do a semester of development work.. She now lives in a mud house which she built herself and is planning to marry a Malawian. It seems like everything is relative. I am struggling with the conditions at the guest house – one burner working on the hot plate, no fridge, dirty toilet, cold nights and a strange smell., while she is living in a mud house which she built and is carrying her own maize and beans. I guess I’ve only been here for 2 weeks. Maybe soon I’ll adjust. I know that I will since I’ve already gotten used to some things like the plain white rice and hard boiled eggs, the washing of dishes and clothes in a bucket and the constant waiting for transport.

I am getting frustrated and worried about money. I was told that I wouldn’t have to pay rent for the building we are using for the orphans. I was told that If I paid K10000 (About $80) I could use the place for free. The money I was to pay was to be used for improvements to the building such as putting glass in the windows and filling some holes in the walls. When I went on Friday I was asked to pay that money plus pay for the finishing of the outdoor kitchen and toilet. This will cost at least $100 more. I did tell her that I will talk to someone about the cost of the kitchen but that I was told that the toilet would be done before I arrived and was not my responsibility. They try to get as much money out of me as they can. I understand that they are poor and are only trying to make a living but does it always have to come from me? The social welfare worker insisted that he should be present when I did the interviews for the cooks. I was not upset by his presence even though he was quite insulting in the way he invited himself. He presented it as if we had been rude in not including him when truly we didn’t know we were supposed to invite him. After he came, he asked me to give him an “allowance” for his time. I told him that I didn’t think paying him was my responsibility since he is a government employee and this is clearly part of his duty (as he’d so clearly pointed out to me earlier). He was gracious when I said no to him but four days later called Mabvuto and told him that his Canadian friend was not good and that I should have paid him for his time.

I am getting more used to saying “NO” to people. I knew I’d have to say that quite often. I know the reason for their asking; they think all mzungus are wealthy and can just give their money away. It is part of their culture to take whaever money they can from people they don’t know well. They even do it to each other.

Tomorrow I’ll go back to the day care. I’ve hired a carpenter to make table and chairs for about $80. I’ll soon bring the paints for the children to begin working on thank you cards.

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July 9, 2008 - Things are coming together

Today we visited the Day Care centre for lunch. We intended to go for breakfast but we couldn’t find transport to get us there one time. Apparently the children came at 6 o’clock this morning. They ate porridge made from ground maize. At lunch they ate bread and tea with beans and the staple food nsima (also made from ground maize).

I was able to distribute the clothes to the children at lunch time. Some of the skirts I brought were too short as Malawian girls wear skirts at about knee length. The children are much larger than I had anticipated. Two girls are small, about the size of an 7 year old in Canada. The other girls are quite tall, some are taller than I am. The boys are also tall but all are quite thin.

We have now bought more serving bowls and one more plate. We have yet to buy a food warmer, a basket to hold the ground maize flour and some furniture for the place.

Today the children also ate vegetables including tomatoes, onions and greens (rapiea?) which cost about $150 for the nine children.

Some things I have bought so far are:

  • Toothpaste @ $110
  • Bar of soap @ $0.40
  • Spoons @ $0.15 each
  • Bowls @ 0.35 each
  • A bunch of small bananas @ $0.20
  • Notebooks @ $0.10
  • Pencils @$0.10

The estimated cost of firewood is $20 for a month. Meat once a week should cost us about $20 a month.

The children seemed more relaxed today but are still didn’t speak to me. I feel shy around them too. I don’t know what they are thinking. Malawians tend not to express emotion which I find very frustrating.

Tomorrow I will go back to the D.C and say “hello”. On Monday we will begin to build a pen for the 30 chickens we will buy. 30 chickens for laying eggs will cost about $20 and will provide at least one egg a day for each child as well as some eggs to sell at the market. The sale of the eggs will raise money for firewood.

Things are coming together.

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July 7th - Maemory and Kelita

Today we went to to the Day Care and interviewed 5 ladies for the position of cook. I have now hired two ladies. They have both attended some seconday school. Once claims to have attended grade 12 while the other says she has gone to grade 10. Neither of them speaks English very confidently nor do they understand me. I am hopeful that some of this is because of their nervousness. The ladies I have hired are Maemory and Kelita. One of them has a small boy of one year old while the other has no children. I was concerned that those ladies with children would not be able to resist taking food home to their children. I have not yet explained to them that they will be permitted to eat meals with the children. I will explain that when I meet them tomorrow. I chose the successful candidates because of their family status and because they both said that they would spend time playing with the children. One was very confident and said she’d have no problems helping the children with their homework.

I also met the children and some village elders today. I presented them with the blankets, notebooks and pencils. I had to hand the articles to the village elder who then held it out to a child who kneeled before him. Kneeling is a sign of respect and children kneel before elders as women kneel before men. The children seemed a bit less shy today although we still have not spken to one another. I did buy them some sugar cane and they laughed while watching me try to get the bark off of my piece.

Tomorrow the cooks will meet us at Mabvuto’s house to pick up some beans and maize. I will explain in more detail their job description and expectations at that time.

It is nice to see the project getting off the ground. Language will continue to remain a problem. Mabvuto was more open today to encouraging them to speak directly to me but Mrs Chataluka (sp?) still more eager to speak to him. This is my greatest frustration but it’s not so bad because mabvuto and I tend to agree on all aspects of the project so far.

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